MY VAGINA IS ANGRY.

She spends most of her days moaning, determined to hold in the tears, the pain is too deep.

“Let it go” I tell her, “no one is watching… never be ashamed to let your emotions show”.

With a wet wipe I gently wipe the tears of her surface. Allow her a moment of fresh air, massaging gently in tickles until she burst in laughter.

But none the less, MY VAGINA IS ANGRY!

I catch a glimpse at her often as she seats in the dark, wet in tears and annoyed at my thighs They crowding her space she said, always in her business!

“One never even gets the opportunity to go for a jog, take a walk and think things through with them following me”

She is furious!

The discomfort drives her labia insane, helpless beings walking all over the house throwing tantrums.

It really doesn't help her high blood pressure!

She once called a meeting about it, invited all the members of the family; I remember it well, ovaries, uterus, cervix and even people from far like fallopian tubes attended the meeting. 

They were many topics to be discussed at the meeting. clitoral Hood chaired the proceedings of the day.

She began by informing all to switch off their vibrators, offered all present lubrication to avoid interruptions in case someone got thirsty, even gave them pads to take down any important notes.

The agenda outlined specific issues, problems where among many on the opening topic and vagina, had a presentation prepared.

The minutes of that meeting read;

“We have been invaded, sadly even our neighbors have been attacked and now we need to form a front and fight back.

Earlier last year I launched an infection attack and as you many remember many of our soldiers were kill in the war.

They seem to always be a step ahead of us, they have protective shields and enabling chemicals that control our system.

We no longer have the ability to rebel and halt situations.

Even when the opportunities present themselves they have invented machines that destroy and take them back in time by as much as 24 hours.

I encourage you all to prepare for a complete take over, I urge you to not lose faith and to present yourself as a united front.

I do believe with the bit of energy left we can discharge our great energies in to the atmosphere and cause enough confusion to take back the war.

I am aware of their weapons and as you can see in this slide they have many, if you could allow me a moment to explain each so we have a better understanding of what we up against…

Firstly, the condom; a barrier device used during sexual intercourse to reduce our work force, my sources tell me they plan to retrench as much as 99 percent of us in every shift we previously were guaranteed productivity.

Do not panic, their plan is not success proof, but I have heard that it is particularly effective.

And second, the manicure tips; this is a beauty tool for our government, as much as it is for a good cause and it assists in boosting their confidence, I foresee it could be dangerous to us if we do not put the right parameters in place for defense

Thirdly, I would like for us to discuss the tongue; I know what you thinking; just because it feels good does not mean it’s healthy.

We have had a few cases reported regarding the weapon and its soldiers, we all need to ensure that the government sends the relevant communication and declare war against this tool before it’s too late

Moving right along, the thong;

I have personally been attacked by this uncomfortable weapon and believe me when I say it’s not a nice feeling and I am sure our guest anus will agree with me.

And last but not least, the tampon; all of you have received monthly notices about this weapon, we just need to keep realizing heavy flows of protective shields as we have previously done…”

In the interest of time the meeting was cut short, the requirement to use the rest room was putting pressure on everyone.

They feared for their lives and called it a day.

I spoke to her briefly after that meeting, she was not impressed with the government.

From the many complaints she outlined, I sensed they required help.

I have noted down their suggestions and promised to speak to those I can.

She is a woman of pride, her flawless skin requires careful and gently cleansing She states problems in her fight but I sense the strength she carries is much more the her outer letting Though she spends her days in tears, her determination inspires many to keep going Her success stories have saved many lives and taken many out of their hiding shacks and presented them to great beginnings She prides herself by her ability to satisfy even those who attack her unaware She is a woman of her word, a presenter of great moments and the creator of pleasurable memories

Not even once has one asked her of her heart’s desires, her wildest dream or her latest fantasies.

She strikes me as a character allergic to pretentious flavors A no nonsense taker, upright soldiers fighting battles left to fate by many A brave yet vulnerable being with a fruitful smile that brings many to their knees Give her name and embrace her strength to improve her confidence Encourage those around her to treat her as the queen she rightfully is Let her speak her mind and learn from her teachings

Let’s start today,

Join the fight,

Present a united front and protect the Vagina.

Editor: Tebogo Temana

Words by: Pfarelo DemonAngel Mutheiwana